


we were running riot

by steveandbucky



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Captain America: The First Avenger, M/M, Smut, War Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 02:29:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20166667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steveandbucky/pseuds/steveandbucky
Summary: The train is still running at full speed. Steve swears under his breath. He almost just lost Bucky.





	we were running riot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NoStringsOnMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoStringsOnMe/gifts).

“I’ve got you,” Steve gasps. “I’ve got you.”

He catches Bucky moments before the rail he was hanging on to breaks off and falls and starts pulling him up, using every last ounce of his newfound strength. _ Fuck, fuck, fuck. _

Steve pulls him back onto the train and the two of them stumble forward, hurrying to get as far away as possible from the massive hole on the side of the carriage, for fear of falling through it again. Bucky’s safe. Bucky’s safe. Steve gets to his feet and pulls Bucky up with him, his hands grasping him by his shoulders roughly, leading him onto the next carriage over. There’s no signs of hostiles, and they’re safe from imminent danger. Steve’s eyes roam Bucky’s body, looking for signs of injury, then he glances up and meets his gaze. The look in Bucky’s eyes is one of frantic horror, but it’s no match for the internal turmoil swirling inside him. His heart is racing in his chest, the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

The train is still running at full speed. Steve swears under his breath. He almost just lost Bucky.

_ Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I can’t lose you. Not you. I can’t lose you. _

Steve doesn’t think twice before he lunges in, grabs Bucky’s face in both hands and presses his mouth to Bucky’s, kissing him with a sense of urgency that surprises both of them. The pure strength of his actions knocks Bucky off and he finds himself cornered against a wall; he makes a small noise of surprise but mere seconds later he starts kissing Steve back, his hands grasping at Steve’s hair, his shoulders, his uniform. There’s a fiery intensity in the kiss that neither have experienced before; it’s rough, it’s desperate, in the way their mouths are pressed together, the way they cling onto each other as one would from a lifeline. 

They break apart and look at each other, ragged breaths and swollen lips and a new, different drive in their eyes. There’s no doubt in their minds, of what happened, and what it meant. Under different circumstances, Steve might’ve expected a punch in response; which is why he never said a word about harbouring these feelings for his best friend. But there it was - Bucky kissed him back. Bucky looked every bit of aroused as he was. 

They hear gunshots and in a minute they’re running off again, heading to the front of the train where they find Gabe holding Arnim Zola at gunpoint, and they breathe a sigh of relief. No casualties. Mission accomplished. 

~~

It’s nearly midnight by the time the Howling Commandos return to the base, hungry and exhausted but all in one piece. They hand over the prisoner to Colonel Phillips, who dismisses them, and they head back to their tents, turning in for the night. Sometimes there would be a campfire, and they’d sit around and talk about the day’s mission before the official debriefing, though the conversation would usually get derailed by Dernier or Dugan with some personal story or anecdote that had them laughing till they couldn’t breathe. Not tonight though - the journey was long and everyone is ready to drop dead and sleep till morning light. 

Everyone except for Steve. He lays awake in the darkness, thinking over that moment on the train, that moment of weakness and utter stupidity, and what a mess he’s landed himself in. There’s Peggy - and then there’s Bucky. And Bucky… Bucky has always been there, ever since they were eight years old, and sat side by side in the classroom, and played together everyday after school. He was eight when Bucky showed up to their school. He was the new kid, and the space next to Steve was empty, and the teacher had him sit there. Both of them shy and awkward, it took them a week to strike up a conversation, but after that… Bucky was there, always. 

Steve’s eyes fill with tears, and he presses his palms against them. _ Fuck. _

Bucky was there, always, and until today, he hadn’t quite realised he might one day lose him. He got drafted months ago, and Steve was filled with dread at the thought of his best friend shipping off to Europe never to return, but none of it seemed real. Not until he saw Bucky hanging from that goddamn flimsy rail - that’s when the reality of it hit him, shaking his entire existence with the full force of it. 

He can’t imagine a life without Bucky. He doesn’t want to. And now, with the truth out there in the open? Where is he going to hide, now?

Steve sighs and turns to lie on his side. His entire body is tense, every muscle pulled like an elastic band ready to snap, and there’s a faint tremor running from his toes to the tips of his fingers, relentless. He’s got enough blankets to keep him warm, even with the heavy snow outside, but what he craves is the warmth of another body in his bed. 

_ Fuck. Fucking shit fuck. _

By morning, he’s slept for a total of 45 minutes, here and there. At least in the day time, there’s briefings and debriefings and meetings to attend. He’s always needed somewhere, these days, regardless of whether he has something to contribute. The distraction is welcome, at least. 

The nerves in his stomach rise as darkness falls and he retreats to his tent. A few steps over, his team is gathered around a fire, passing around a bottle of whiskey they somehow got their hands on. They beckon him over, but Steve turns down the invitation with an apology. He opens the tent flaps and steps inside and stops dead in his tracks. 

Bucky is sat on his cot, a cigarette dangling from his lips. “Hey,” he looks up as Steve enters. “Got a light?”

There’s a fucking fire just outside. He could not have made it any clearer that it’s a pretense. Steve shakes his head, and Bucky shrugs, putting the cigarette away. 

“Am I allowed to talk to him yet?” Bucky asks. 

Steve’s jaw clenches. “Sorry. Phillips says you’re too close-”

Bucky gets to his feet, his expression twisting into an angry scowl. “Are you fucking kidding me? Does he think this is a joke? I wanna know what he did to me!” he shouts.

“Buck, if it was up to me…” Steve trails off and sighs. He feels helpless.

“Shoulda taken a crack at him before we handed him over,” Bucky mutters, running a hand through his hair and flopping down onto the cot again. “Sorry I snapped. ‘S not your fault. Phillips drives me crazy.”

“Yeah, me, too, pal.” Steve puts his shield aside and starts stripping out of his uniform. “I can hardly stand to look at him. How much trouble you think I’d get into for punching a CO?”

Bucky laughs softly. “You? Not much. You’re too precious. You’d get off easy, I think.” he gets to his feet again and walks up to Steve, and suddenly they’re in each other’s space. “You drive me crazy, too, you know?”

The whispered words send shivers down Steve’s spine. “Yeah, I know,” he says in a tone that matches Bucky’s. 

Something changes in the air between them, and in a moment they’re kissing again with that same frenzied, ravenous drive as the day before. Steve sweeps his tongue along Bucky’s lower lip and when Bucky’s mouth falls open, a low, hungry moan stumbling out, he licks his way inside, deepening the kiss. There’s no finesse to it; just hunger and years of pent-up lust.

Steve’s hands move as if on their own accord, and he’s grabbing Bucky’s neck and pulling him closer, his fingers curling in the hair that has grown too long. Bucky takes it one step further - he lets go of Steve’s face and lets his hands roam down his chest and moments later he’s unbuttoning Steve’s blazer, pushing it off his shoulders. Bucky gives up and moves to unbuckle his belt, and the move awakens something new in Steve. He pushes Bucky so they’re moving backwards until he can grab the blankets and throw them on the ground and pulls Bucky down with him. 

Bucky moans again when his head hits the ground, and Steve’s on him in an instant, his mouth finding the skin of his exposed throat and biting down on it, drawing yet another moan from him, so he puts his mouth on Bucky’s again, kissing him to muffle the noises he makes. Bucky resumes his earlier task of undressing him, in rushed movements, becoming frustrated at the effort it requires. Steve shrugs off his blazer and throws it aside, then pulls his shirt over his head, and Bucky gasps and reaches for him again, sitting up so he can touch him, pressing his mouth against Steve’s chest. 

“Buck,” Steve says, breathless. 

Bucky grabs him by the neck and pulls him down for another kiss, while Steve tries to get rid of their pants, but in his eagerness, he doesn’t bother to take them off; just pushes them down to their thighs and lays on top of Bucky, balancing himself with one hand while he takes both their dicks in his other hand. The sound that escaped Bucky’s mouth at the contact is rather pitiful, and Steve lets himself fall on him with his full weight, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth, which somehow makes him moan even louder. 

“Shh,” Steve whispers, and pulls his hand away so he can kiss him instead. 

Bucky ruts against him, in frantic movements, his arms around Steve’s neck, trading wet, messy kisses as they move against each other, and Steve’s head spins with the heat of it. It’s over too soon, with Bucky being the first to come and Steve following soon after and collapsing next to Bucky, breathless and utterly spent. 

Bucky looks at him and his gaze lingers and Steve can’t look away. His stomach fills with dread, fearing the worst. He knows Bucky’s the one who initiated things, he knows Bucky was enjoying himself just as much as he was… and yet he can’t shake off the feeling that he’s done a horrible thing. 

Steve doesn’t get a chance to overthink it, because Bucky says, “C’mere,” and shifts closer to him, wrapping his arms around Steve and pulling him close. Steve’s head finds Bucky’s shoulder and his hand curls onto the fabric of Bucky’s worn shirt, clinging to him. 

“You’re warm,” Bucky murmurs, his lips grazing Steve’s temple. “I like it.”

Steve smiles and buries his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck. He pulls the blanket over them and they drift off to sleep, wrapped up in each other. 

~~

“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, or do I have to-”

“Don’t fucking finish that sentence,” Bucky snarls, taking his eye off the scope to shoot Steve a dirty look. “You’re a fucking bastard, you know that? Let me do my fucking job.”

Steve crosses his arms against his chest, leaning back against the bark of the tree. “Language.”

“Fuck you, Rogers.”

Steve bites down on a smile. “Seriously. What’s wrong?”

Bucky hums. “The world is ending. Haven’t you been paying attention?”

“Don’t sass me, Barnes.”

“That’s rich.”

Steve knocks the rifle over, grabbing Bucky’s arm and forcing him to face him. “Buck.”

“For the love of God, Rogers,” Bucky pulls his arm out of Steve’s grasp and gets to his feet. “Rule one was staying quiet, rule two was staying still, and you are doing neither of those things,” Bucky’s spitting the words out angrily. “So tell me, how, exactly, are you helping me right now?”

Steve gives him an incredulous look. “I just wanted to talk. Privately. It’s an excuse, isn’t it?”

“Well, you’ve probably given away our location and we can expect an attack in the next hour, so yeah, let’s fucking talk.” Bucky slings the rifle over his shoulder and starts making his way down the hill, so they’re out of sight. 

Steve follows him but keeps his distance, standing further away than necessary, given how intimately entangled they were the night before, nothing between their bare bodies but slick and sweat, just like the night before that, and every damn chance they got. It was starting to become a habit, and an addictive one at that. Steve couldn't get enough. He feared the day Bucky would have had enough of him, and kicked him to the curb. 

Steve waits for him to speak, trying his best to keep patient. Bucky’s not looking at him. He’s standing with his hands on his hips, his body facing Steve, but his gaze is drawn elsewhere, into the densely wooded forest. 

“How long can we keep this up?” Bucky asks, eventually. 

Steve’s jaw clenches. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb, alright?” Bucky shoots him a sharp look. “You know damn well there’s no - there’s no happy ending for us, Steve. This - this thing between us...”

“What?” Steve asks, taking a step forward.

“War’s gotta end sometime.” Bucky shrugs. “Then we go home. Then what?”

Steve swallows thickly. He has no answer for Bucky. 

“Yeah,” Bucky says after a long moment, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve been thinking about this ever since that first night, you know? We have this,” he says, and in two long strides he’s in front of Steve, his hands framing Steve’s face. “We have this now.” he whispers. 

Steve closes his eyes, breathing him in. “Don’t make me think about that. Please.”

“You’ve got a girl who’d marry you in a heartbeat,” Bucky says. “Hell, any girl would marry you in a heartbeat.”

Steve grabs Bucky’s face and crashes their mouths together, kissing him hungrily. “Please.” he whispers when they break apart. “Not now. Just…” he pauses, and inhales a shaky breath. “Will you have me, for now? For however long we can?”

Bucky shakes his head like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Do you need to ask?”

Steve closes the gap between them again and they kiss and kiss and kiss until they’re breathless. 

“Should probably head back,” Bucky breathes, his forehead resting against Steve’s. 

Tears form in his eyes and Steve blinks them away, and they start walking back to the camp. He’s scared he’s going to lose this at any given moment. The fear follows him all around Europe, and all the way back to Brooklyn. 

**Author's Note:**

> how many lyrics can i still from bastille to use as stevebucky fic titles? IM SORRY DAN DON'T SUE ME  
anyway i woke up this morning with the 'steve catches bucky before he falls and then kisses him brokeback-mountain style' idea in my head so i had to write it. for the gays.  
  
also, for those who are fans of visual aids, [this edit i made a while ago](https://disasterhusbands.tumblr.com/post/175924331960/we-are-good-people-and-weve-suffered-enough) goes nicely with this fic i think! so :-)


End file.
